Series: Dragon Age II
Summary: When Fenris swore to remain by Hawke's side, he meant those words in all aspects. When his lover's nightmares become too much to bear, Fenris decides to finally settle the matter.
Warning: SPOILERS if you haven't beaten the gaaaaammmmeeeeee
Well, of all the things Fenris believed Hawke would have started off with, his peculiar question had not been one of them. “I don’t see you as either, I suppose. In the eyes of the people, you’re the Champion, the man who killed the Arishok, stopped the blood mages and Knight-Commander Meredith from her psychotic fanaticism. They begged you to become the next viscount and you’ve helped countless of people, including me. In my eyes, you are Hawke. The man who leaves his disgusting socks in the bed at night –“
“But I hate having cold feet when I go to bed...” Hawke complained and Fenris ignored him.
“The same man who has an annoying lack of the word ‘no’ in his vocabulary, especially when we happen to be in the middle of something –“
At this, Hawke sat up, brow rising. “Have you seen Aveline when I don’t do as she asks for the guard? She’s not a person you want on your bad side.”
Fenris continued. “Who also has a very nasty habit of allowing his mabari mutt to leave his half-devoured bones everywhere in the estate for me to step on. You do realize I do not wear shoes, yes?”
“He hasn’t done that in a month now!”
“Heroes tend to not have flaws in storybooks and fairy tales.” At this, Fenris reached up, trailing his fingers along Hawke’s jaw. “And you have plenty. As for being a failure...”
The pleasant atmosphere faded as Hawke looked away, settling back down against Fenris, wrapping his arms around his lover. “I hear the words ‘Champion’ and ‘Savior’, Fenris, but how can I be a savior when I can’t even save the ones I love the most?”
“You mean like Carver, and your mother?” He felt Hawke tense and tightened his hold, one hand threading through short red hair.
Hawke closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. “Yes. In my dreams I see them sometimes. Staring at me with accusing eyes. When Carver was killed, my mother blamed me at first.” Fenris tensed and forced himself not to growl in anger. He never had cared much for the woman, but seeing Hawke in pain over her murder had hurt him as well. To know that she had placed such heavy guilt on Linri's shoulders...
"Your brother's death was not your fault and it was wrong for her to say such a thing. In fact, it cheapens his sacrifice. Varric told me of what happened, he died trying to protect you all."
"He shouldn't have had to die at all." Linri threaded his fingers through his thick red hair, bowing his head. "I should have been faster. I'm the oldest, I should have -"
Fenris scowled. "Hawke..."
"I could have done something Fenris!"
"Enough!" He grabbed Hawke's shoulders, grim hard, emerald eyes intense. "Do not deny your brother the honor he earned because of your misplaced guilt. I did not know him, but I know you, this is not how he would have wanted you to behave. Honor his death and mourn his loss, Linri. He would want to see you standing strong."
"Maybe I get tired of being the strong one all the time, Fenris." Hawke looked and sounded tired, his hands still in his hair. "I'm not immortal, I'm not this unbreakable force. Maker knows without you all I never would have made it as far as I did."
Fenris cupped Hawke's check with his hand, smiling warmly. "Exactly. You didn't do it alone, and you are not alone now. Everyone shoulders their burdens on you, allow me to shoulder your burdens. I am stronger than I look, you know."
His smile widened when Hawke snorted, shaking his head. Then Hawke sucked in a deep breath and let it out in one long burst, lowering his hands. He looked up at the ceiling briefly before closing his eyes, taking in another breath. His body seemed to sag from relieved tension as he let out the second breath. Hawke lowered his head, giving Fenris a genuine smile that reached his golden eyes.
"Thank you." Linri's large hand framed the side of Fenris' face and he leaned in, closing the gap between their lips. Their kiss quickly became heated, a merging of mouths and mingling of tongues. Hawke's fingers massaged Fenris' scalp, while his free hand slid down the elf's chest and stomach. Fenris shivered, letting out a low moan as they parted and Linri went for his neck and just beneath his ear, a sensitive spot.
"Tomorrow." Hawke's breath felt warm against Fenris' skin as he whispered in the elf's ear. "Come with me to see him."
Carver's grave. Although the space did not hold Carver's ashes, Fenris understood the significance. This would be the first time Linri had ever asked him, or anyone, to accompany him to pay respects to his brother.
"There is no where else I would rather be than by your side, Linri."