Advent Challenge Day Seven
Dec. 7th, 2010 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catriana_fictionPairing: SasuNeji
Requester:
![[info]](https://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=1){kind=small}
ero_chibi_chan Words: 882
Rating: M (cursing)
Genre: Comedy(?) I tried.
Warnings: Slash
Prompt: Irrational Fear
SasuNeji
In his twenty three years of being alive, Uchiha Sasuke had thought he had seen it all and had done it all. He had fought battles, a war, a super powerful megalomaniac with manipulation issues out the ass – and had even died twice. Needless to say, he didn’t think there was anything else in the entire world that could surprise him.
That was, until his fiancé came flying out of their laundry room like a bat out of hell and slammed into him. It took quite a bit to keep them from falling over and Sasuke was no pushover. They did, however, fall over onto the couch and Sasuke looked up and started.
Neji was terrified.
Surprised was definitely the world Sasuke felt upon this revelation. Because seriously, this was Neji fucking Hyuuga, this man didn’t fear anything. He was calm, level headed, and very logical. Yet the pale face, widened eyes and frantic breathing definitely belied fear.
“Neji,” his arms instinctively came around the more slender male, hands rubbing up and down a strong back. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m not going back in there.” Neji hissed, hands gripping Sasuke’s shirt hard “Not until you burn it. Don’t just throw it away, burn that fucking thing. In an open fire. You can even do a naked ritual dance, I don’t give a shit. Just. Get. Rid. Of. It.”
Naturally, the fallen avenger had no idea what the hell Neji was talking about. So he decided to use his current amount of brain power to solve the problem. “What?” was the intelligent probe.
A panicked finger was thrust towards the laundry room. “That. Thing. Make it go away, Sasuke. I’m serious.”
Quickly realizing that Neji was not going to be a source of competent information, he decided to get to the bottom of whatever it was that had the Hyuuga scared shitless. With a sigh, he got up and walked into the laundry room. It took him a moment to realize what it could have possibly have been because the logical conclusion had been, well...not it.
Sasuke had thought perhaps it had been a spider, a rat, mouse, something living that had scared his fiancé. Instead, what he saw sprawled all over the laundry room were his newly brought polka dot boxers. They weren’t really his style but the store at the time had been out of everything else and he had needed some new ones badly. Unfortunately, the only colors they’d had ended up being a mixture of green with yellow dots or vice versa. He hadn’t even worn them yet – Sasuke always washed his clothes before wearing them, he didn’t do straight out of the package.
This conclusion had only been made because there had been nothing else to show for the sudden fear – not even when he checked with his Sharingan. Once figured out, Sasuke had stood there for a good ten minutes with only one real thought bouncing around.
What the fuck? Really?
Apparently, Neji was scared to death of polka dot boxers. After another ten minutes of coming to terms with such an asinine prospect, the gears began to turn and he remembered something important. Since Neji was too out of it to properly give him any decent information, he decided he would have to get an explanation from the only person who could possibly know and understand the situation.
“Tenten.” Sasuke leaned against the wall in the kitchen, making sure that Neji was still sitting on the couch. He was, curled up under a blanket numbly watching television. Sasuke kicked the small bag full of boxers that he was going to toss to the dumpster after the conversation. “I need to ask you a question.”
“I’m kind of busy, Uchiha.” She said tersely and he resisted the urge to snap at her. They didn’t really get along, something about him stealing her boyfriend – as if – and him being a serious bitch for betraying the village...blah, blah, blah. Really, that had been years ago. Neji had gotten over it and that guy had reasons for hating his guts.
“Whatever. Look, I...” he leaned forward to make sure Neji was still oblivious and dropped his voice. “Neji just freaked out over some green and yellow polka dot boxers and...” he was cut off when the sudden sounds of the brunette retching on the other end hit his ears.
What. The. Fuck? First Neji and now Tenten? What was going on? They were just boxers!
Then she told him the story. The horrible, horrid story of Rock Lee, Maito Gai, and polka dot boxers. The entire gruesome tale with no details spared.
Sasuke personally took the bag outside to burned it to a crisp. Then he burned the ashes.
He walked over to the couch and pulled the Hyuuga into his arms, rocking. He buried his face in dark brown hair and murmured soft apologies. He even told the other male he loved him, first time ever.
“Never again.” He swore to Neji and the other nodded, holding his fiancé close. Not another pair of polka dot boxers were seen in their home and the incident was never discussed again. They did, however, spend quite a long time trying to forget the incident with mind blowing sex.
It worked.
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Date: 2010-12-07 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-07 02:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-07 02:52 pm (UTC)I was expecting a spider or centipede, so the boxers= brilliant!
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Date: 2010-12-07 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-07 03:57 pm (UTC)BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
You tried and SUCCEEDED! This was hilarious XD I love it!
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Date: 2010-12-07 04:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-07 05:49 pm (UTC)Poor Neji XD
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Date: 2010-12-07 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-07 11:19 pm (UTC)Glad you found it funny. :)
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Date: 2010-12-07 05:44 pm (UTC)Momo
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Date: 2010-12-07 11:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-08 09:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-09 01:42 am (UTC)