catriana_fiction

Title: Break
Series: Naruto
Pairing: SasuNaru, eventual SasuNeji(or NejiSasu, whatever)
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: K+
Words: 939
Notes: This will actually be a series, but here's the introduction. It will replace the other SasuNeji Untitled I had been working on.

I had known from the beginning that it hadn’t been about love, not really. I’m not sure what made him decide to jump from her to me, I never really thought to question it. The entire thing was just two kids being curious, that’s how it had started out. Neither of us ever intended for it to go beyond kissing and yet it did. Kissing, touching, and much more.

We kept it secret for more than one reason, really. We didn’t want anyone knowing that we were, basically, doing ‘gay’ things. For the most part, he’s straight. I’ve never held a sexual preference, I’ve never really cared for romance.

And this isn’t a romance. It’s purely physical. Instead of going to a friend’s house to play video games, we’d play video games...and have sex. It feels good and so we do it for those reasons, friends with benefits, I guess.

At least, that’s how I had seen it.

Now I don’t know so much anymore. To me, sex was a better way of getting off than using my hand. It didn’t mean anything to me and I had thought he had felt the same. I didn’t know that there were people who could make you feel incredible with just a look. Who could drive you insane with lust just by licking their lips or gazing deep into your eyes. I didn’t know that desiring someone could be so intense. I’ve never wanted someone as much as I do this person, and so I had thought the solution to be simple.

Stop the friends with benefits deal.

I might not place a high value on sex but I’m not stupid, other people do. These feelings are more than just physical, however, and I know that means something. I want to be with this person, I want to do those stupid relationship things that couples do. I want to go on dates and do all of that sappy teenage shit. This wasn’t instantaneous; it’s only been this year that I’ve felt this way and it’s only been this month that I’ve finally admitted it to myself. I don’t even know if this person will be into me, mostly because they’re a guy and I don’t think they’re gay.

I guess I can officially call myself gay now, huh? It’s weird, I still don’t feel anything one way or another for gender, but this person...it’s different. Whatever, mom always said I wasn’t a normal kid.

I thought it would be easy to go up to my friend and go ‘let’s cut this shit out’. I mean, he was still in love with that girl – or so I had thought – so no harm done. It would suck, because sex is amazing, but we’d deal. That’s what I had figured. So now I feel incredibly awkward sitting here on my bed with him on the floor, staring at me like I’m some sort of fucking mental retard who just spoke gibberish. Drool and all.

“What do you mean, you wanna break up?” he asked and I raised a brow.

“Break up?” I asked incredulously. “We’re not together.”

This was news to him, I guess, because he jumped up, looking upset and defensive. “Whaddaya mean we ain’t together? Of course we are!”

This isn’t good. If I had known he was thinking like that, I would have said something a long time ago. “Idiot, people in relationship do things besides have sex. Like go on dates,”

“We do go on dates!”

“Dude, the arcade does not count as a date.” I’ve never been in a relationship and I know that much. “And eating at a burger joint is not taking someone out to dinner.”

He deflated at this. “Yeah...but...”

Time to put in the final blow. “And you’re still in love with her.”

A wince. He knows I’m right and for a long time we’re both quiet, sitting in my room and ignoring the television going on in the background. Well, I’m half listening. It’s that show called ‘Penn and Teller’s Bullshit’ and I kind of like it.

“There’s someone else, isn’t there.”

He didn’t phrase it as a question so I didn’t take it as one. I decide not to answer, because I really don’t want him to know. He’s my best friend, but his mouth’s as big as Ino’s and I honestly don’t know what he’ll do if he finds out. I guess somewhere down the line he started actually liking me and I don’t want dumb drama. The guy isn’t even gay...that I know of.

“You should ask her out,” is what I finally say. “She’s warmed up to you since freshman year, Naruto. She knows I don’t like her like that. You might actually have a chance now, so –“

“What if I don’t like her like that anymore, Sasuke?” blue eyes snapped up to me and all I can do is blink at him. “What if I love someone else?” What if I love you?

I heard the unspoken question and closed my eyes briefly. Standing, I walk over to my bedroom door and open it. “All the more reason to end this then. You should be with someone who loves you.”

A cold shiver went up my spine when I heard the words. “I’m not giving up on this.” As I closed the door. I should just tell him the truth, that there is someone else...but I can’t. Not yet. Not until I know whether or not my feelings will be returned or if I’ll get told to fuck off.

Still, those words left me with a bad feeling.